SLTJHTM
I know I know – you wonder why you bother with me any more
I know it’s been awhile – and I’m sorry for my slack-ness.
A quick update cause my last post reads a bit like a suicide note – I’m doing ok, still living on my own and it’s taught me a lot. Me, the girl who never shut up has learnt the true value of silence. There are days where they last words I say will be at 5.30 in the afternoon and I won’t open my mouth again until 9.00 the next morning. Just before I say my first word – I have a moment of panic. Unsure if my voice will work properly, or if it’s even still there.
Try it, for 1 day. Spend 12 hours without uttering a single word, or having a single word directed at you. It leaves you with the most alien feeling. Even weirder is when the last word you say and is said to you is on Friday afternoon, then you have no human contact until Monday. No phone calls, no yelling out “hey!” to the neighbour as you pass them on the way to the clothesline. Not a word. I promise you that by Saturday night you’ll say something. To the kettle, to the fish. To the heater. Anything so long as you say SOMETHING.
It’s not a bad thing, it’s not a complaint. But it’s unlike anything you’ll ever experience as a sociable human. It’s refreshing and cathartic.
Now, as we all know, my life’s motto should be :Sh!t Like That Just Happens To Me. (SLTJHTM)
I’m that person. That person who never actively seeks out drama – but it finds them. That person who, through no fault of their own just seems to attract the weird, wacky, wonderful and woeful.
My kindergarten teacher wrote on my very first report card “She makes life interesting”. My mum’s quoted that ever since.
So, in the spirit of me – here’s my story.
Last night, I drove my sister home from the station. K (my sister) tore a ligament in her ankle on Saturday and is on crutches. She can’t put any pressure on her leg and her other leg is suffering due to the added stress. As there’s a bazillion steps at her station and no lift, she’s been catching the train to my very accessible station with me and I’ve been dropping her home. Last night, my car broke down. On a main road, during peak hour, in a bus zone across from a chicane. Facing up a very steep hill. K can’t push the car – nor can she work the pedals because she just doesn’t have the strength in her poor one leg that works.
My first thought was to call my bf – but he doesn’t have a licence and he was at work. My mum and dad are overseas and my sister was crippled in the passenger seat. My friends live in Campbelltown, roughly an hour away from where I was and I was panicking.
I was cold, scared, stuck and panicking. Hindsight tells me this wasn’t the right choice to make, but as I’m not a member of the NRMA (it’s cost about $300 for them to come out to what I was fast suspecting as no petrol) I called my ex for help.
He was really, really good. He was there in about 20 mins – with a jerry can. He made some light jokes about “Sh!t Like This Just Happening To Me” but did a great job of calming me down and reassuring me that it’d all be ok. He followed me to my sisters and when he was sure the car was running ok, he left. Nothing funny, nothing mean, just a really nice favour done for a friend and not drawn out.
After I called the ex for help, I’d called the bf to explain what situation I’d gotten myself in now and what I’d done. Not once did he say “Are you ok? Are you safe?” He proceeded to yell and swear and call me every name under the sun for calling who I did. I asked him if he could please just say “I’m not happy about you calling him, but we’ll talk about it later when you’re home safe – but for now, are you ok?”
He hung up on me after that – I should have expected that really.
So today – I’m just really wreaked. I’m tired from crying all night in the car park before I drove home.
The ex has started a car website and there’s stickers all over the back of his car advertising it. After seeing it last night, I thought I’d check it out. Well, I turned into some psycho ex and proceeded to do things that I never dreamed I’d be the sort of person to do.
I knew the girl he was seeing after me also had a car like his and saw a post she’d put on there. I clicked on it and it came up with a myspace page. The ex had a link on there so I saw his myspeace page too – and lovey dovey messages SHE had posted for him. I went back to hers and saw lovey dovey messages HE had posted to HER and I felt sick!
I couldn’t help it! I shut everything down and threw up 2 days worth of food. Does it make me a horrible person for not wanting him, but not wanting him to want anyone else?
I went outside and had a cigarette and a laugh because although my initial reaction was what it was – 15 mins after I don’t care. I think it might have been shock that she was real (that sounded meaner than I meant, but I’m not changing it).
A promise I’ve made to myself though – and it’s in writing should I suffer some horribile Lohan-esque “relapse” is:
I, Elle, will NOT continue to look through my ex’s Myspace page (PS – how teenage do I sound talking about Myspace?) for updates, nor will I check out any of the linked pages hoping that I can garner information off them.
Sincerely,
STLJHTM
So – while I’m making foolhardy promises to strangers – I may as well promise to update more regularly and take some time to tell you all about the GOOD stuff that’s been going on!
A few shout outs:
Jenny – I heart you. Dinner the other night was great and should be repeated. I promise not to mention the ex because, although I commend your self restraint in not telling me to shut the hell up so far...no one is this patient J
Nath – he’s in the good ‘ol US of A at the mo and it’d be great to have him back again!
Music in my head: Spider-pig from the new Simpsons Movie (that one’s for you Chris!)
I know it’s been awhile – and I’m sorry for my slack-ness.
A quick update cause my last post reads a bit like a suicide note – I’m doing ok, still living on my own and it’s taught me a lot. Me, the girl who never shut up has learnt the true value of silence. There are days where they last words I say will be at 5.30 in the afternoon and I won’t open my mouth again until 9.00 the next morning. Just before I say my first word – I have a moment of panic. Unsure if my voice will work properly, or if it’s even still there.
Try it, for 1 day. Spend 12 hours without uttering a single word, or having a single word directed at you. It leaves you with the most alien feeling. Even weirder is when the last word you say and is said to you is on Friday afternoon, then you have no human contact until Monday. No phone calls, no yelling out “hey!” to the neighbour as you pass them on the way to the clothesline. Not a word. I promise you that by Saturday night you’ll say something. To the kettle, to the fish. To the heater. Anything so long as you say SOMETHING.
It’s not a bad thing, it’s not a complaint. But it’s unlike anything you’ll ever experience as a sociable human. It’s refreshing and cathartic.
Now, as we all know, my life’s motto should be :Sh!t Like That Just Happens To Me. (SLTJHTM)
I’m that person. That person who never actively seeks out drama – but it finds them. That person who, through no fault of their own just seems to attract the weird, wacky, wonderful and woeful.
My kindergarten teacher wrote on my very first report card “She makes life interesting”. My mum’s quoted that ever since.
So, in the spirit of me – here’s my story.
Last night, I drove my sister home from the station. K (my sister) tore a ligament in her ankle on Saturday and is on crutches. She can’t put any pressure on her leg and her other leg is suffering due to the added stress. As there’s a bazillion steps at her station and no lift, she’s been catching the train to my very accessible station with me and I’ve been dropping her home. Last night, my car broke down. On a main road, during peak hour, in a bus zone across from a chicane. Facing up a very steep hill. K can’t push the car – nor can she work the pedals because she just doesn’t have the strength in her poor one leg that works.
My first thought was to call my bf – but he doesn’t have a licence and he was at work. My mum and dad are overseas and my sister was crippled in the passenger seat. My friends live in Campbelltown, roughly an hour away from where I was and I was panicking.
I was cold, scared, stuck and panicking. Hindsight tells me this wasn’t the right choice to make, but as I’m not a member of the NRMA (it’s cost about $300 for them to come out to what I was fast suspecting as no petrol) I called my ex for help.
He was really, really good. He was there in about 20 mins – with a jerry can. He made some light jokes about “Sh!t Like This Just Happening To Me” but did a great job of calming me down and reassuring me that it’d all be ok. He followed me to my sisters and when he was sure the car was running ok, he left. Nothing funny, nothing mean, just a really nice favour done for a friend and not drawn out.
After I called the ex for help, I’d called the bf to explain what situation I’d gotten myself in now and what I’d done. Not once did he say “Are you ok? Are you safe?” He proceeded to yell and swear and call me every name under the sun for calling who I did. I asked him if he could please just say “I’m not happy about you calling him, but we’ll talk about it later when you’re home safe – but for now, are you ok?”
He hung up on me after that – I should have expected that really.
So today – I’m just really wreaked. I’m tired from crying all night in the car park before I drove home.
The ex has started a car website and there’s stickers all over the back of his car advertising it. After seeing it last night, I thought I’d check it out. Well, I turned into some psycho ex and proceeded to do things that I never dreamed I’d be the sort of person to do.
I knew the girl he was seeing after me also had a car like his and saw a post she’d put on there. I clicked on it and it came up with a myspace page. The ex had a link on there so I saw his myspeace page too – and lovey dovey messages SHE had posted for him. I went back to hers and saw lovey dovey messages HE had posted to HER and I felt sick!
I couldn’t help it! I shut everything down and threw up 2 days worth of food. Does it make me a horrible person for not wanting him, but not wanting him to want anyone else?
I went outside and had a cigarette and a laugh because although my initial reaction was what it was – 15 mins after I don’t care. I think it might have been shock that she was real (that sounded meaner than I meant, but I’m not changing it).
A promise I’ve made to myself though – and it’s in writing should I suffer some horribile Lohan-esque “relapse” is:
I, Elle, will NOT continue to look through my ex’s Myspace page (PS – how teenage do I sound talking about Myspace?) for updates, nor will I check out any of the linked pages hoping that I can garner information off them.
Sincerely,
STLJHTM
So – while I’m making foolhardy promises to strangers – I may as well promise to update more regularly and take some time to tell you all about the GOOD stuff that’s been going on!
A few shout outs:
Jenny – I heart you. Dinner the other night was great and should be repeated. I promise not to mention the ex because, although I commend your self restraint in not telling me to shut the hell up so far...no one is this patient J
Nath – he’s in the good ‘ol US of A at the mo and it’d be great to have him back again!
Music in my head: Spider-pig from the new Simpsons Movie (that one’s for you Chris!)
posted by Elle @ 5:35 pm
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