I know, I know - Finally!
Wow – it’s been ages since I’ve updated, and I’ve got lots to say.
As many of you know, I’ve tried to stay friends with the ex. I know the break-up was hard on him and I was more staying in contact to make sure he was doing ok. Any issues he’s had since the break up he’s still talked to me about and we were great friends when we were together, I didn’t see why that had to stop completely.
So, while we’ve still been meeting up occasionally (in public places and with my new boy having full knowledge of our meeting and being ok with it) the ex still drops barbed comments every now and then and makes a visual point of checking out other girls when I’m there. For the first few weeks after the break up, that annoyed me, but it really doesn’t anymore. The comments, however, do.
On Friday night, I was sitting at home watching Smallville and doing a whole lot of nothing. He called and said he was bored and was heading into Newtown for a coffee – did I want to join him? I though why not and drove down.
We met up at Starbucks and chatted for about ½ hour. Usually stuff – how our families are going and what we’ve been up to. The usual. There were the usual thinly disguised nasty comments which I smiled through and ignored. There was a few minutes silence and I asked “when are you going to stop being mad at me?”
That sparked a fight about the new guy I’m seeing and how he still thinks I was ‘emotionally cheating’ on him before we broke up. The new boy and I were friends before the ex and I broke up and that’s hard for him. There was 1 instance where I went somewhere with him without the ex before we broke up. The reason for that was the ex’s car had broken down and had been broken for a while. He had soccer on Thursday nights which meant I had no car and was left alone. There was never a case of the ex saying “how about I miss soccer tonight and we go out” or “it’s your car, do you want to do something tonight”. That used to piss me off quite a bit so one Thursday night my friend (now the new boy – I really need to come up with a nickname!) said “seeing as we both work in the city, why don’t we go see a movie then you can catch the train home. At least then you’re not home on your own.”
I thought it was a great idea – we saw a movie then I went home. Alone.
That was all.
So when the ex brought this up on Friday night, I reminded him of the circumstances and he flipped out. He said “you have no idea how many times I’ve thought about calling you and telling you that I never want to speak to you again”
So I said ‘fine. If you don’t want to speak to me again, say so and I’ll leave.” He said “I don’t think we should speak to each other again.”
I smiled.
Put money on the table for the coffee.
Stood up, and walked away. I didn’t turn around once.
The weird thing is, I thought I’d be upset – but I wasn’t. I still wonder what he’s up to, but more in the way I do about friends from school that I haven’t seen in years. I think it was a good thing.
I went out on Saturday night with my sister and a few of my friends (I count my sister in the friends category, more than the family one) and I chatted to her before we left about what has happened. I’m sure she MEANT to be sympathetic, but I don’t think she quite got there.
Big shout out to Jenny – the always lovely.
Another shout out to Katie – a new friend but she’s definitely a keeper!
And an obscure shout out to Nathan. Long time no speak! I saw Scissor Sisters last Monday and thought of you. I know you messaged me your new page, but I accidentally cleared my whole inbox – can you send it to me again?
Music in my head – At last (My love has come along) – Etta James. Someone said “At last” this morning and it’s been in my head ever since.
As many of you know, I’ve tried to stay friends with the ex. I know the break-up was hard on him and I was more staying in contact to make sure he was doing ok. Any issues he’s had since the break up he’s still talked to me about and we were great friends when we were together, I didn’t see why that had to stop completely.
So, while we’ve still been meeting up occasionally (in public places and with my new boy having full knowledge of our meeting and being ok with it) the ex still drops barbed comments every now and then and makes a visual point of checking out other girls when I’m there. For the first few weeks after the break up, that annoyed me, but it really doesn’t anymore. The comments, however, do.
On Friday night, I was sitting at home watching Smallville and doing a whole lot of nothing. He called and said he was bored and was heading into Newtown for a coffee – did I want to join him? I though why not and drove down.
We met up at Starbucks and chatted for about ½ hour. Usually stuff – how our families are going and what we’ve been up to. The usual. There were the usual thinly disguised nasty comments which I smiled through and ignored. There was a few minutes silence and I asked “when are you going to stop being mad at me?”
That sparked a fight about the new guy I’m seeing and how he still thinks I was ‘emotionally cheating’ on him before we broke up. The new boy and I were friends before the ex and I broke up and that’s hard for him. There was 1 instance where I went somewhere with him without the ex before we broke up. The reason for that was the ex’s car had broken down and had been broken for a while. He had soccer on Thursday nights which meant I had no car and was left alone. There was never a case of the ex saying “how about I miss soccer tonight and we go out” or “it’s your car, do you want to do something tonight”. That used to piss me off quite a bit so one Thursday night my friend (now the new boy – I really need to come up with a nickname!) said “seeing as we both work in the city, why don’t we go see a movie then you can catch the train home. At least then you’re not home on your own.”
I thought it was a great idea – we saw a movie then I went home. Alone.
That was all.
So when the ex brought this up on Friday night, I reminded him of the circumstances and he flipped out. He said “you have no idea how many times I’ve thought about calling you and telling you that I never want to speak to you again”
So I said ‘fine. If you don’t want to speak to me again, say so and I’ll leave.” He said “I don’t think we should speak to each other again.”
I smiled.
Put money on the table for the coffee.
Stood up, and walked away. I didn’t turn around once.
The weird thing is, I thought I’d be upset – but I wasn’t. I still wonder what he’s up to, but more in the way I do about friends from school that I haven’t seen in years. I think it was a good thing.
I went out on Saturday night with my sister and a few of my friends (I count my sister in the friends category, more than the family one) and I chatted to her before we left about what has happened. I’m sure she MEANT to be sympathetic, but I don’t think she quite got there.
Big shout out to Jenny – the always lovely.
Another shout out to Katie – a new friend but she’s definitely a keeper!
And an obscure shout out to Nathan. Long time no speak! I saw Scissor Sisters last Monday and thought of you. I know you messaged me your new page, but I accidentally cleared my whole inbox – can you send it to me again?
Music in my head – At last (My love has come along) – Etta James. Someone said “At last” this morning and it’s been in my head ever since.
posted by Elle @ 11:38 am
1 comments
P.S - My husband's not the guy I'm dating at the moment - he's just the guy I married in the mass hippie ceremony in Newtown.