What is wrong with some people?

I don’t know if there’s something in the water or if I’m just noticing what was there all along – but there are a lot of people I thought I really liked who are turning out to be douche bags.

Is it just me?

I See A Nail And I Want It Painted Black

Well peeps, I’m back from my 10 days in paradise – and want to leave again!

Does anyone know if Getaway is recruiting? If they’re looking for a (after a week of not giving a damn about what I ate or how little I exercised) slightly wobbly, short, average-looking presenter; let me know!

We left on the Saturday, and not a day too soon as Gabby had her baby on Friday! A little girl – Kiara. Very nice I thought. She came home on Sunday so I got to nurse a brand new baby! I wish someone would develop a hire scheme – I’d like to rent a baby. I love kids, would love to have a few later on (MUCH later on) but I wish I could play with them for a few days then give it back! Patent pending on this one guys.

I’m kicking myself I didn’t take photos! I’m the world’s worst tourist! (Don’t tell Getaway that bit).

In the middle of the week we escaped for 3 days into the bush to stay at a luxury chalet. Très bien! We decided to take advantage of everything there and decided to give archery a go. I discovered that I have no depth perception and my dreams of becoming Robin Hood were quickly shattered when I managed to loose about 8 arrows over the top of the target and into the bush beyond. After our disastrous hour of me loosing things and TNB showing off, we decided to go for a bushwalk. Part to enjoy the scenery and part to retrieve their property that I had shot into the distance. We ambled through the scrub, picking up arrows and teasing the wildlife and I realised I had a beetle on my foot. Not fazed – I jumped onto a fallen log and tried to kick it off. The bugger held on tight so I daintily pinched it and tried to pull it off. The head stayed there and the body stretched and sprung back when I let it go. It was a leech and it was gross.

I screamed and waved my leg in the air trying to give the leech motion sickness I guess. My scream sent TNB crashing through the trees arrows in one hand and bow in the other. Mah Hero!

Laughing, he held my leg still and pinched it off. Apparently it was ‘full’ and let go quite easily. Once he told me that, I started getting teary at the gross-ness of it all. Then my foot started to bleed. And bleed, and bleed and bleed. Then came the tears. I must have looked a sight. Standing on a log in the middle of nowhere – my bloody foot still in the air and crying. He hoicked me over his shoulder and (still laughing) carried me back to our cabin. He must have looked a sight, arrows and bow in one hand, damsel in distress flung over his shoulder. I was half expecting the world to go slow motion and perhaps a dramatic theme song.

After all the yuck was washed away – the actual bite was smaller than most freckles. But that’s not the point. I don’t get many leeches in my INNER WEST APARTMENT! It was yuck!

We decided to play tennis once I’d calmed down and stopped swearing at nature. Tennis was nice and leech free.

I’m such a girl – I embarrass myself.

The rest of the week was uneventful and leech free – just the way I like it!

Coming back to work’s been a downer – but I figure it’s just a filler until Catriona Rowntree answers the note I left on her window in lipstick and gives me a job on Getaway!

Music in my head: Paint it Black – Rolling Stones