The Benefit of a Good Blow-Dry

I’m heading to a friends 21st tonight (Hi Bec!) and decided I was going to get all girled up for it. I went and got my hair cut and blow-dried is cute flicky curls. Although now I’m thinking of getting this done more often! I got told “I actually look ok” –Chris. “Babe Alert!” –Some random hobo in a van, and walking across Bridge street in heavy traffic, 4 cars stopped (going both directions) to let me past. Surely some well placed flicks are not that powerful? Why hasn’t the CIA, the KGB, ASIO and McDonald’s cottoned on? Surely cancer research can benefit from its awesome power?

I bought a pack of the Mentos ice gum stuff, you know the ad where the guys’ nipples grow freakishly long and take on a mind of their own?

This guy!

Anyway – I was very, very disappointed and am considering writing into the good people at Mentos and asking them why my results differed so greatly from those depicted on their advertisement and why there’s no disclaimer on either their advertisement or packaging to warn me that it may not work like that.

Although, I did come across this little beauty while looking for nipple pictures. (Warning – think about what you type into Google images search BEFORE hitting the search key. “Nipple pictures” was probably not my best idea)

Jews for Jesus? That was so last season. The latest catch cry is Jesus…The Freshmaker! Won’t somebody please think of the children?

I’ve also realised that I’ve lost 10kg since this time last year! Which is a lot to me cause I was never really huge to start with. I’ll never be as skinny as I was in school, but that’s probably a good thing – that landed me in hospital. But I definitely wasn’t happy with how I was last year.

Granted, I’m not Nicole Ritchie

But I’m happier.

Monday Updates – Now posted on Tuesday!

On Friday night, I went out in the city with a girlfriend. Which meant schlepping FROM the city, to my place then BACK to the city almost exactly where I started from. We started out at the 3 wise monkeys where an absolute lunatic tried to pick me up. I mean kah-ray-ze! He came over and started chatting to me, seemingly innocent enough. What he was saying didn’t make a lot of sense, but I put that down to the fact that he was drunk. I made some half assed comment back and he thought I was a kindred spirit. His pick up line? “You’re brilliant – I despise you”. Um, ok? He then tried to talk to me about the role woman play in Shakespearian theatre as opposed to the role they play in modern literature. We made some lame excuse then ran away. This guy needed a tin foil hat to keep the aliens out.



We then went to the Orient and I made friends with another weirdo (I seem to attract the weird ones!) Turns out he’s 10 years my senior with a kid! No thanks! We went to Jacksons and with the help of a bouncer friend (I frantically whispered in his ear that I needed to loose the guy and he put his arm around me and loudly said “I’m going to be home late tonight honey – can you remember to feed the fish before you go to bed?” What an angel!)

We got home at 6.30 Saturday morning and conked out!

Saturday I went to the real estate agents and paid most of my rent (I need to post the rest today – don’t let me forget!) and got the form to have my ex signed out of my lease. Then I went to visit a friend in hospital and spent the rest of Saturday there. I went back on Sunday for more visiting.

Sunday night I went over to the ex’s to get him to sign the form and then we went out for coffee afterwards. He walked me to my car as I was leaving and we were chatting – then he leaned over and kissed me! Eeep! I had no idea what to do! I stuttered a goodbye and jumped in the car. He was apologising and blah blah blah. I stuttered through another sentence that made no sense then drove off. What the hell!?! I think it’s time I told him that I’m seeing someone else. I really don’t want to hurt him, but I REALLY don’t want that to be a repeat performance!

I'm feeling a bit like this at the moment...

Any advice?

Music in my head: Phil Collins. Something Happened On The Way To Heaven

My angst filled rant (Now with 98% less swearing)

This is what my head feels like at the moment...



I’m not usually a complainer, but I really need to rant at the moment and unfortunately this is my outlet.

The stupid payroll office has screwed up my pay – royally – and it couldn’t have happened at a worse time. My pay was supposed to go through last Friday…it’s now Thursday, almost a week later.

I’ve composed myself a list of things I was supposed to pay, how much, when it was due and my comments.

Rent - $800 – due Friday. There’s late fees on this one. I got a call from the real estate agent yesterday while I was at work. They were, rightly, wondering why I hadn’t paid. I was at work so I couldn’t answer my mobile. They then called my ex because he’s still listed as living there. But that means I’ve been getting calls from the ex asking if everything’s ok, and if I want him to pay it and if I need him to come over and ‘sort anything out for me’. Which I think is hilarious (in a either laugh or cry way) because I was always the one who paid the bills and rent and stuff.

Smash Repairer - $300 – due last Saturday. The original quote for my car was $800, and he only takes cash, so I rocked up with the $800 in cash and turns out he had to replace the headlights because they couldn’t be fixed, that was an extra $300. I was ok with that because he was still doing it for a grand less than anyone else had quoted, and he was happy for me to take my car and pay him the extra on the weekend. While there’s no late fees on this – I still wanted to pay him.

Gym Fees - $44 – due Tuesday this week. Ok, so it’s less than $50, but I can’t go to the gym until this is paid and there’s a late fee on this now. It was actually die on Friday but they let me extend it.

Credit Card - $3,000 - $100 due on Tuesday this week. The majority of this is left over from a holiday I took last year, and that’s being paid off gradually, but there’s now late fees on the whole amount because the $100 wasn’t paid on time.

Vodafone - $500 – due about a week ago. It’s not gonna be long before they cut off my phone. There’s also probably a late fee on that too.

My Parents - $2,000 – no due date. Because of the break-up, I had to buy the ex out of his half of the fridge, microwave and everything in the kitchen. I also had to pay to get the car fixed, registered, insured and new tyres. It was all too much in the space of a week (it all happened in the course of 5 measly days!) So I had to borrow from the folks. I hated that, so I was hoping to pay back as much as possible. We (the ex and I) also had our quarterly bills come in - the gas, electricity and stuff - in that same awful week.

So you see, it’s been a tough month. I now owe $6,644.00-ish, I just spoke to an accounts person and they said it should ‘hopefully’ go through today. Below is a time-line of the accounts idiots.

Friday last week – my pay should have been processed but wasn’t. It’ll be there in the morning I guessed.

Saturday last week – still no pay.

Sunday last week – still nothing, I’m annoyed now.

Monday this week – Still nothing, I called the accounts department and was told that they got my account number wrong (I don’t know how seeing as it went through on the same number last month!) and that it would be reprocessed that afternoon, in my account on Tuesday, Wednesday at the latest.

Tuesday – still nothing

Wednesday – called accounts again, it wasn’t processed as she was away ‘sick’ the day before (that btich better have been dying) and that it was being processed that day.

Thursday (today) still hasn’t even been signed off. I spoke to a bevy of people, only to be told that it “might” be signed off in a few hours and if it was it will “hopefully” be paid today.

So there’s my end of week update. I think I need to cry. The money’s either in my account by COB today or I’m not turning up tomorrow.

I just checked my account then – for a laugh. It hasn’t gone through.

Music in my head: nothing. I have a headache. No, wait, By the River of Babylon. Get out!

Mid week Updates!

Ok, so where did I leave off last time?

I’m now no longer showering sitting down – thank you, but please hold your applause till the end – the day I slipped, I spoke to the ex and it came up. That afternoon I got home and he’d left some of those sticky things that you put on the bottom of the bath to stop falling over, on my front doorstep. A tad creepy really.

Went to a friend’s last night for dinner and a movie. Watched The Ringer, the Johnny Knocksville movie where he pretends to be retarded to rig the special Olympics. I was in stitches! I know I’m going to burn in hell for this, but watching them run and jump and ‘dive’ cracked me up!

I sliced my thumb on a razor last night, and it wouldn’t stop bleeding! (No – I’m not emo!) At 3 this morning I finally gave up and wrapped it in a bandage and fell asleep. I’m so tired today! I took photo’s on my phone cause I’m a tad morbid that way :) I think i'm accident prone?

I also got a teary phone call from the ex last night – it was a little awkward but well handled on my part I think. By this stage I was up to my second vodka (medicinal purposes people! I was injured! I was sterilising from within?) So I had hit Dr. Phil mode and was very diplomatic. Eg: Him: How can you just let 4 years go like that? Me: It hasn’t been thrown away, but we’re such good friends that we’re adult enough to keep that going (read: Get off the phone you’re creeping me out and I’m trying to watch tv here) See? Very deep.

Met up with mum last night for a drink after work, it was good to relax and have a drink and not get calls asking when I’ll be home, what’s for dinner, when dinner will be, when will I be home (I know I repeated that one – but he used to as well!) who was I with, did I need to be picked up, if the t-shirt on the floor was clean or if it needed to be washed (I don’t know, just leave it on the floor!) where was I…? Oh yeah, it was nice to see mum.

Ok, I think that’s a pretty good update – I’ll write a post about work later on, I don’t want to sound too angsty in 1 post.

Music in my head: I don’t feel like dancing – Scissor Sisters. For some reason that song always makes me feel like dancing…

Note to Chris...

I can't believe you left me in the lift with KK!

Music in my head "Manfred Mann, The Mighty Quinn" I'd love to know where this stuff comes from

Late night revelations

Well, my old blog has disappeared – either that or I can’t remember what it was actually called - so I’ve started a new one!

It occurred to me yesterday morning that I really am ALL ALONE. Very recently my (now) ex-boyfriend moved out, leaving me in the apartment all alone until the lease expires in February. It hasn’t really clicked though, that I really am on my own there! Yesterday morning I slipped in the shower while I was getting ready for work. It would have been funny if it didn’t hurt so much, or if it happened to someone else. Anyway, I grabbed the shower curtain to try and stop myself falling backward and only ended up ripping the shower curtain off it’s stupid little hangers and bringing it down on top of me. I hit my hip on the side of the bath on the way down and while I was lying on the shower floor, swearing like a trucker and trying to get the plastic off my mouth so I could breathe again – it clicked that had I knocked myself out…I could be there for days before someone found me. And who would it be?

I tried to forget about it during the day, but for the first time last night – I heard noises everywhere. I swear to god I heard someone breaking in through the kitchen window and by the time I’d g’d myself up enough to go and see who it was, they would have been through the freaking window! Usually I would have nudged the ex and told him I’d heard something. He would have gotten up straight away and returned seconds later to tell me I’d forgotten to close the kitchen window and the blinds were blowing around (turns out that’s what it was last night too). But for the first time I actually thought about what the hell I would do if something did happen. My great epiphany? I’m screwed.

This morning I had a shower sitting down. I was a little freaked out I was going to fall!

Music in my head: All I want for Christmas. How the hell did THAT get there?

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Woot!